mail

i dont know what to expect,

what to feel,

how to feel,

i am completely numb to this subject.

actually i know i feel one thing..

that is im scared.

im scared about whats going to be in my mail box.

how its going to make me feel,

what the emotions are going to drive me to do,

or will it be fine?

should i be scared?

we are not fighting nor are we friends.

i dont think of you the same,

ive seen a side of you i didnt want to see

an anrgry side that said things that hurt,

things that cut deep.

and yes i think its your fault its like this between me and her.

if you had just never said those horrible words.

that made me think,

that made me analise everything she had ever said.

do i think of her in the same way?

i dont know.

i dont belive you love me.

your blog says there will be change,

i dont like change,

it hurts,

because with everything good that comes

you have to let go of something eles,

and i dont think i want to.

i dont think i want to ever open my mail ever again.