it's a date, raisin.

YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAA.

i can not fucking wait till the weekend. finally. we get to meet.

and hopefully. hopefully it will be an awsome weekend.

this is the only thing thats going to get me through the week.

im so fucking excited. im so scared though. please dont hate me.

I can't think about it so I'll just drink about it.

Shes screaming. Shes screaming out so loud. Why can't you hear her? All she's
ever wanted is for you to notice her. To notice her and help. She needs help.
Every time. Everytime she goes out searching for belonging. Everytime she
pulls out her sharp painful poison. Everytime those tears run down her face.
Everytime she takes that last drag, that last pill. She needs you. All she wants
is you. Save her. Tell her she can always call, no matter what time of the morning.
And then when she calls you crying, spilling her heart out to you. Don't say stupid
cliché things. Just listen. Because sometimes more can be said in silence than in
words. Hold her. Tell her you will never let go. Because right now thats all she
wants to hear. She needs you.

"you can have him after me,
just as long as we arent bffl's then"

talked to gee and ryan.
mm. i promised it wouldnt happen again.
i feel horrible. gees nice but she made
me feel so bad. they were both kinda
like talking about how they probably wont
be together that much longer... idk.

remember when it didnt hurt to wake up in the morning?

its gone.
their gone.
i feel like youre gone.
it feels different.
why did you delete them?
how will i know how youre going?
are you going to live with your dad?
do you still want to come see me?
do you still want to know me?
or are you really going to leave us?'
are you ok?
why havent spoken to you this week?
thats all i need to know.

xx

had a pretty good night last night.

ily raspberry vodka. hehehehehe

i love meg. i love abby. i love steph.

haha our 'converstation'' my meggles.

not sure why i hooked up with that guy...

im glad i stoped and walked away.

i hate that taxi driver. what a bitch.

it was his fault. we walked for almost an hr.

i forgot how much i love going out in the

middle of the night. i want the holidays back.

thirteen reasons why is such a good book...
im like about to cry but i cant because im in the middle of detention.
oh wow. emotional.

im in detention.
kill me im so fucking bored and ive only been here ten minutes...
so thats what? 1 hr and 50 min to go? ahhh.
the teacher is such a friggin bitch,
apparently im wearing to much make up
im also not allowed to slump back in my chair.
i must be sitting "correctly". bitch.

all i ever did was help... i dont understand why you would do this...

A
- Available: Unfortunately
- Age: 14 and 6 months. ima youngin.
- Animals: ily my cats.

B
- Beer: Corona with a lime thanks. oh and this german wheat beer stuff. :)
- Birthday: August 5
- Best Friend: to many
- Body Part on opposite sex: everything ahh *melts*
- Best feeling in the world: Laughter
- Best weather: 20 ish.
- Been in Love: Im really not sure anymore.
- Been on stage? At school..?
- Believe in Magic: not really.
- Believe in Santa: OF FUCKING COURSE!.. no.

C
- Candy: lollipops all the way.
- Color: green or blue.
- Chocolate/Vanilla: Yumm. Chocolate.
- Chinese/Indian/Italian Food: Chinse.
- Cake or pie: I feel like Oma's cake now...
- Continent to visit: Europe
- Cheese: is pretty ok.

D
- Day or Night: im nocturnal
- Dancing in the rain: With Cara.

E
- Eyes: Green :D
- Ever failed a class?: pfft yes. last yr i failed christian studies LOLLLL.
- First thoughts waking up: i should have got more than 2 hrs sleep...
- Food: in general.
- Greatest Fear: feeling like this for the rest of my life.
- Goals: remind me of school, ew.
- Get along with your parents? Heck No.

H
- Hair Color: Black.
- Happy: For now.
- Holiday: My life.

I
- Ice Cream: anything from trampolinee *mouth waters*

J
- Jewelry: I steal my friends bracelets. I have a small collection.
- Job: Too young. gayyy.

K
- Kids: Yes, 10 living on an island with their 8 different fathers.
- Kickboxing or karate: Why.
- Keep a journal? yes.

L
- Love: Always someone.
- Letter: Z
- Laughed so hard you cried: Yes, haha good times...
- Milk flavor: Mocha
- Movies: the breakfast club, thirteen, donny darko
- Motion sickness: sometimes.
- McD’s or BK: Maccas fovever.

N
- Number: 5.

O
- One wish: To be happy. To be someone.
P
- Perfect Pizza: im boring i like margaritta
- Pepsi/Coke: Ew to both.

Q
- Quail: I preffer them live and in the wild.

R
- Reason to cry: I was born.
- Reality T.V.: im miss big brother :(
- Radio Station: 101.9 the fox

S
- Song: i like to many..
- Shoe size: 10. sometimes 11... shut the fuck up.
- Salad Dressing: mm salad :I
- Sushi: i hate it
- Skinny dipped? lols yes
- Strawberries/Blueberries: Ew berries in general.

T
- Tattoos?: yes please!
- Time for bed: NEVERR!
- Thunderstorms: Cuddle.

U
- Unpredictable: Allways.

V
- Vacation spot(s): everywhere.

W
- Weakness: Boys
- Who makes you laugh the most: Ryan Zuzek, bahaha....
- Worst Weather?: love it.
X
- X-Rays: haha so many...

Y
-Year it is now: 2010
-Yellow: fitchett... mlc... ew.
Z
- Zoo animal: sloth. lols.

(love you stephiee)

youre the only person that makes me happy when im sad.

and i know its going to tear my heart apart tomorrow when

i get yelled at because you make me happy.

i dont want to be the girl he cheats on his girlfriend with.
i dont want to hurt her. i hate it how he has absouloutely
no fucking respect for her. he doesnt give a shit about
how she feels. i dont want to be used like her. i dont even
like him. at all. just no. i would never do anything with a
guy like him. it would mean nothing. he should go die.

that list on stephs blog,

i want that. i need that.

this is one of those days

i really wish i had a good

boyfriend to just hold me.

i need that. alot.

six days = forever

its been six days since i had a cigarette.
i was ok for a couple days. but.
now my cravings are unbearable.
i cant sleep. usually if i couldnt sleep.
i would go have a cig. i cant do that.
i am actually going insane. ahhh.

im scared to let go of my pain
because i dont know what i will do without it.

well that was a bit of an i know we're both hurting but

lets pretend we're ok sort of conversation.

i hate you so much. i hate what you've done to me. but i dont know what to do without you.

i feel alone now.

you dont understand how much excluding me like this is actually hurting me.

all i ever did was love you. all i ever did was be your friend. and in my opinion.

a pretty god dam good friend. i offerd you a house. i offerd you both a house.

promise me

i think im so worried about you going to plc because
if you do get in, which im sure you will,
i know exactly who you will become friends with.
promise me. PROMISE ME you will never ditch me
because of them. promise me you will never be sucked
in by their lies about me. promise me. please.
never change your opinion on me because of them.
please. promise me you will never leave me.

i figured out why im allways so sick.
hugo gave me galandular fever last yr.
and it lasted so long and got so bad cause
of my shit immune system cause of yr six.
fml. i feel like im dying. this isnt fair.

CRYING DOESNT
INDICATE THAT
YOURE WEAK.

SINCE BIRTH, ITS HAS
BEEN A SIGN THAT
YOU'RE ALIVE.

www.formspring.me/sarahstockman

only good thing at school

yay i have photorgaphy tomorrow.

actually the best class ever.

you have no idea. it makes me happy.

positive behaviour reminder

5 pbr's which is a detention.
2nd day.
fail.

triangle head.

fuck you.
over exaggerated and depressing blog posts
they were NEVER over exagerated.
its all real. its all the truth.
its all how i felt. no exagerations.
started making friends with people more like herself
we used to be the same.
youre the on that changed that.
i still dont see whats different now.
oh and btw.
you were more than just a bully.
you made my life hell.
more unbearable than anything you can imagine.
you will never understand what you put me through.
what still haunts me when i sleep.
you. have. no. idea. how. much. youve. hurt. me.
dont do it again.