implossible mind puzzle

i know the truth,
and i lied to him,
to cover some bitches ass,
i dont even know why,
i hate her with every bone in my body,
he deserves to know the truth,
he deserves better.
i sacrificed everything for someone i hate,
i serously hurt one of my closest friends,
someone who would never hurt me,
i feel so bad.
i just didnt want anyone to get hurt.
i didnt want him to get hurt.
but you were right,
i wouldnt have cared if you got hurt,
you could almost go as far as to say...
that maybe, i would enjoy it,
im going to tell him the truth,
n0t because i want to hurt you,
but because im sick of lying.